Let me begin by saying that I think everyone should have a coach. Everyone (including me)! But you might be between coaches, or haven’t yet engaged with a coach, or even if you have one you love, you’re not always with them. So, what do you do for coaching when there’s not a coach around? It’s simple: coach yourself!
Here are some of the most common questions I ask my clients that you can think about when you coach yourself.
- What would you like coaching on?
- How does this serve you?
- What’s the ONE thing that’s most important here?
- How do you want to show up?
- What else?
What would you like coaching on?
This is the first question I ask my clients every time we meet. There are lots of things going on in your work and life, and a coaching session can’t tackle them all at once.
This question is designed to get you clear on the issue you want to focus on, and in the mindset of working toward a solution.
How does this serve you?
I love this question so much! It helps my clients when they’re in a place of overwhelm, or if they simply have too many choices. When it comes right down to it, how does taking a specific course of action serve you?
Sure, it’s nice to be able to serve others, too, but for my people-pleasers out there, this can be a bit of an eye-opener. And for folks who love to get out there and speak their minds, the “how does it serve you?” question can help with perspective, too.
What’s the ONE thing that’s most important here?
When you can distill your coaching need into just one thing, it’s way easier to think about how to create a solution for it.
That doesn’t mean you can’t have multiple things you’re thinking about or want to explore. But getting crystal clear on which one is the most important helps cut through the mental clutter.
How do you want to show up?
When you’re contemplating a big conversation, presentation, negotiation, or other action, it’s great to figure out how you want to show up.
What do you want other people to notice about you? Is it your confidence, knowledge, courage, calmness, or something else entirely? Once you’re really clear, it’s easy to set your intention (and practice) so you show up the way you want to.
What else?
I notice that often the first thing a client talks about isn’t the most important one. The “what else?” question allows us to go deeper and explore the topic more thoroughly.
When you coach yourself, ask the “what else?” question anytime you get stuck, or even anytime you think you’re done. You may discover something important!
Of course, self-coaching can’t replace the benefit of having a objective, professional, leadership coach, but when you learn how to coach yourself, you’ll have another avenue to develop yourself.
What’s your favorite question to ask when you coach yourself? Write it in the comments below!